Saturday, February 23, 2013

Meet Samael


         I dreamed of her today.  The dreams are the worst and best parts of my day. Here is where we can be together. Here is where we grow up together, as was intended.  In the dreamscape, we are children growing in friendship. A friendship I know will become so much more.  A friendship that will define both of us and someday change the universe.
        Everyday is a new challenge, a new battle and a new quest to find my Lilith. When I breathe, it's as if I am missing a part of myself.  I am. Missing a part of myself.  I have no idea where she was taken. I don’t know who she really is. All I know is that I am meant to be with her. She is part of me. Part of my cosmic makeup. I need to find the one called Lilith. I need her in the deepest, most tragic and incorrigible way. The wholeness I seek was already given to me and in a moment, horrifically stolen. But my love for her, my need for her, my desire for her is as immeasurable as it is immortal. 
          I will find her and when I do, the one who took her- well, not even the great Creator will be able to save him from my wrath.  1000 lifetimes will not be long enough for the torture I have in store for the one called Elohim.  Death would be a gift.  But I chose to give him life. A life filled with regret, disappointments, but most of all pain. My gift to him will be a pain which can not be healed. The pain of living sin. The pain of living without the love of the Master Creator, the pain of gaining and losing those you love over and over again. And that is just the beginning of what I have in store for Elohim. I am coming Lilith. Please hold on a little longer. I will always try to find you in your dreams. 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

What dreams may come


Every year on Oct. 24th she has a dream.  A dream about a boy with golden hair, sapphire eyes and smile just for her. The dream is always the same.  She is standing in a garden in front of a Yggrasail tree.  Gazing at the designs on the truck she makes a wish, "Please send me to where I belong."  The inky blackness envelops her and she watches the stars streaked by as she is transported to another realm. When she opens her eyes, she is in a similar garden in front of larger Yggrasail tree. As she turns around she hears a swoosh and a laugh. Bam! Lilith is airborne as she is knocked down by a boy on a swing.

“Who are you?” he asks. 
“I’m Lilith”
“How do you come out of the tree?” he questions.
“I... I’m not sure. I stood before a similar tree in my garden at home and made a wish.”
His eyes grow wider. “You... you have magic? but you are so young. I have been studying my entire life and all I can do is grow plants and heal small animals.  My dad says I’ll be stronger when I get older.”
“How old are you?” she asks shyly.
“I’m 12. My coming of age ritual is in the fall.”
Recognition flitted across her brow.
“Mine too. I’m really nervous. I don’t want to embarass myself and no one knows about my magic and I’m pretty sure I’d be in trouble if anyone found out about it.”  Lilith realized for the first time in her life, she had revealed the truth.  Not even her best friend Raz knew about her travels to the other realms in her dreams and her awareness of her powers.

“I guess that makes us around the same age. My birthday is October 24th at sunset. When is yours?”  When the little boy finished speaking the last word, Lilith’s world shifted.  Magic crepted out from her heart and spread throughout her body. A bright white light appeared and travelled over her skin, leaving behind marks in the language of the Creators.  Scared and unmoving, Lilith waited and wondered.  

What was happening? What did he do? What does this mean?

“Lilith, are you ok? What’s happening? What are you doing?” The little boy was becoming frantic.

“Shhhh....just watch. Let the magic finish. Whatever you do, don’t move.” Lilith whispered as she was frozen stiff.  She knew what was happening.  She’d heard the Thrones talking about this kind of spell. It was reversal magic. Someone had used magic on Lilith.  Old magic.  Binding Magic. She recognized the Runes as the Creator language and as she read the marks, a spell used to take away a soul or part of a soul, to hide it and bury it was revealed. Only one's soulmate could reverse it.  Who was this boy? His power rivaled hers. 

The white light flared all around Lilith and her necklace began to hum a song. The little boy stood there and watched as this little girl with freckles and red curls studied the writing on her arms.  He knew that song.  His grandmother had sung it to him every night when he was small.  And every night She would tell him, “Don’t forget these words my little Sam.  They will point the way to the one who will save us all.  She is your Dialythei and she will save us all.”

Sam stood still and listened to the humming of his song. When it started over again, he sang the words he hadn’t sung since the night his grandmother was murdered.




Friday, February 8, 2013

The Immortality Scroll-Scroll 3 folio 9

This scroll was the hardest to translate because of the complexity of the ancient grammar.  It is very similar to a passage you may already know.  Enjoy.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with the God of All, and the Word was the God. He, the Word, was with the God in the beginning. Through the Word all things were made; without the Word nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. She was in the world, and though the world was made through her, the world did not recognize the Elohim God. She and the Kelipot came to that which was their own, while the one called Samael born in the same hour looked for her, but Elohim’s own world did not accept him because of the harm he caused to the Lilith. Yet to all who did receive the Lilith, to those who believed in her name, The Lord of All gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of the God of All. And so there would be the Lilith and her protector dwelling among us. And she would have her Samael and the glory of the One God will grant us full grace.

Scroll 3 folio 9

Scroll 2 folio 3 and Scroll 4-translated


The 10 stone thrones carved out of sapphires stood tall and elegant.  In each, sat one of the leaders of the heavenly hosts. Behind each was a Seraphim with a flaming sword, proof of the station they held. The floor, made of stone, had tiles with ancient writings magically etched in gemstones in the language of the heavens. Writings depicting the creation of each realm surrounded amethyst gems containing the secret Genesis.
The ancient magic came from above and below, surrounding those present.  He chanted the mystical spell over and over again, يجب ألا يكون هناك حياة. لا شيء يأتي من كل شيء.  From nothing comes everything.  
But in that moment where the spark becomes life, the Master Creator took some of himself and put it in the little being, hiding it from all the hosts of heaven, because he was lonely.

Scroll 4


As the Lilith sat huddled in the cave hidden from all the heavenly hosts, she trembled and was afraid.  The darkness surrounded her and pulled at her kelipot, but it remained intact for the kelipot was strong and fought the darkness trying to steal her light.  The light shone in the darkness and the darkness could not understand it.
As the Lilith looked into the darkness, a light began to shine from within herself.  Knowledge of herself and her powers became aware.  And the Lilith shone with a bright light seeking something she lost, and she fell asleep and dreamed.

Scroll 2 folio 3

Meet Jophiel

What does Jophiel the Archangel look like?  I imagine him looking a lot like Daniel Craig. Ok I imagine him looking EXACTLY like Daniel Craig.  He's very strong, well built, ruthless, and compassionate.

Here is what I found on Jophiel's playlist when I swiped his iPod.

Muse- Supermassive Black Hole
Red Hot Chili Peppers- Higher Ground
AC/DC- Back in Black
Skillet- Monster
Skillet- Hero
Ashes Remain-End of Me
Ashes Remain- Change my Life
Stone Sour- Gone Sovereign

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Lilith Scroll- 2nd Scroll Folio 5


....and the host of heaven was divided into the 5 realms searching for the Lilith and her kelipot. The Aeon Sophia and the Grigori King Asmodeus, who were chosen to teach the Lilith kelipot, were distraught over her abduction. They, along with Samael, begin to scry for her, seeking her light throughout the realms.  In the darkness, they sought her light. Each realm, every emanation, constantly seeking.
Calmly, Samael sat in the middle of the Genesis floor and called his power from within to catch her.  It was in the 12th minute of her life, Samael found her. Calling on the spirit part of his soul, Samael marked her wrist and gave her all his current power.  He gave her all that was his to give and along with Sophia and Asmodeus the power became so great it could not be quelled.
For the first time, in all of time, there became a being greater than any other. The young kelipot had the power of all the Gods contained within her.   The Aeon, the King, and the angel all looked down and trembled in awe of what they had done and were astounded by their abilities. For only the purest and greatest love could accomplish the Giving Spell. 
But the little kelipot must remain pure of heart and spirit, lest her power consume her. The Aeon Sophia gave her an ever growing sapphire necklace to harness the power within and bind the power to the kelipot’s spirit. For every passing anniversary of their creation, the necklace would grow each year, until the Lilith kelipot was reunited with her Samael.
Scroll 2 folio 5

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A chapter excerpt- The Fall


October 24th present day
The sky was a clear blue without a cloud to mar the atmospheric perfection.  Tiny droplets of crystalline dew clung to the grass as the sun rose majestically over the horizon.  As I sit on a hill gazing at the Great Tree in the center of the garden, I reminisce about a time long forgotten. 
I am the only one who comes here anymore. It’s too depressing for the others.  A time long since lost, but not forgotten.  No, never forgotten. Everything was lost and nothing would ever be the same again. 
I am not sure why I return here. I suppose it’s to try to remember. I can’t seem to remember. My first memories are of being transported away from something and I ended up here.  All I know is I am missing something and every year my sapphire necklace grows a new sapphire on my birthday. 
As I walk through the garden where I once played as a child, I try to remember.

A very long time ago....

“Who are you? Where am I?” I am frantic. I know something is wrong. Something happened. It was night and now it is day.  There is another Great Tree, but this one seems different.  It’s not as tall and full. There is a waterfall behind this tree and the thrones are gone. Something else is gone as well.  I wish I could remember what it is.

“Be calm little one.  All is well. You are safe.  My name is Elohim and this is Eden.  You are safe here.”

I look around and took in the splendor of what looked like a typical garden.  The beauty is unparalleled. Later I would realize this was a typical creation garden. A place where life would begin and the Creator would live in harmony with his people, but I did not seem to belong here.

“Why am I here?” I demand.

“You are here because I wish it. Adam will be along shortly”  As he said the words an uneasiness settled over me.  I knew he was lying, but about what?  I look around and didn’t see Adam anywhere.
“Adam is out naming some of the animals we created this morning. Walk with me?”  I look down at my feet. “Sure.”

I was unsure about this Creator.  Something didn’t seem right.  He wanted us to walk with him in his creation and talk with him, this Adam was not here to greet me when we split apart as was custom and to top it all off I had a feeling of wariness around Elohim.

Adam walked up from behind the tree.  He was tall, well sculpted and with hair black as night.  His eyes shone like the sun in a golden hue. When he saw me, he smiled. I dropped my head and felt something appear around my neck. 
Elohim just stopped mid creation and stared. A sapphire and diamond necklace was forming.  The gems were set in nickel and zinc and there did not seem to be a beginning or end. 
“What is that Elohim? Is that her collar to remind her to serve me?” He chuckled.
My mouth dropped open.  No creation was to serve another.  It was outlawed.  We were created to be together. To share everything. To BE together. This was wrong. Something was wrong. I started feeling sick. I knew I was young. Hours old. But I knew this was not right.
“Elohim is he right? Did you do this? Am I to serve him?” I was growing angry.  My powers were still new, raw and I could feel them growing. I couldn’t control them. Elohim kept silent and watched me with wide eyes. Creations weren’t supposed to have magic.  Those that Creators
“Lilith. Are you ok? You don’t look so well.” Elohim asked looking genuinely concerned.

As he spoke a rage bubbled up out of me.  My unbridled magic flew out and around me. It created a shield between me and Elohim.  My necklace began to glow and it amplified the spell I somehow knew to cast. “حمايتي من الأذى”  The words protect me from harm were said over and over. Elohim stubbled backward shocked. 
At once, a being appeared before me with his flaming sword drawn.
“Get behind me little one. My name is Jophiel. Your Samael sent me.” He said.  He was well over 6 feet tall.  I barely reached his shoulder.  As I moved to get behind him, my shield began to collapse.  Elohim reached for me and tried to grab my arm. He was chanting his own spell.  He was so much more powerful than me.  I could feel the numbing sensation of his spell, wash over me through my shield.  I was forgetting what to think. I was forgetting and growing weaker.

“Step back, Eli.  I would hate to hurt you. The Master just wants her back. And it’s her will to go.  You can’t keep her here.  She’s not what you think.  He will come for you and nothing will protect you from his wrath.” The large Serph stood his ground and took Adam by the throat and tossed him into the Tree and he disappeared before my very eyes. He leveled his flaming sword at Elohim’s throat.
“Today, you will pay.  You have taken what was not yours. Tried to corrupt it and make it unholy.  Your punishment is watching your creation fail.  Everyday for the next eternity, your people will fail you.  You will love them.  Each one of them. Your greatest desire will be their love, but you will not get it.  They will now get to chose whether or not to worship you.  Your punishment is Free Will and it can not be reversed.  And just to be clear my young friend, I’m leaving guards here to keep you and Adam out of the Garden and away from the Tree.”

I watched as Elohim blanched at Jophiel’s words and I heard his voice “How did he knew of the prophecy?  It must have been Raz and his blasted secret book.  I took her to prevent this! Didn’t they understand. This is why I took her!!!  She would change everything. She would bring magic to my garden.  She already had and didn’t realize it. She would be different. She was different. Adam would teach her. He would show her how to submit. Now I have lost everything!”  I could hear his thoughts like they were own.  This shouldn’t possible. How could I hear him? He was a Creator!

Jo urged me to stand strong in my mind. “Servant.” That’s what Adam had said.  I was to serve him.  I cried and began falling to my knees. I couldn’t stand up and hold my shield around me anymore.  As I fell toward the tree voices began shouting.
“NOOOOOOO!!!! Don’t touch the Tree.”  And then everything went black.

The first folio of the Lilith Scroll- translated into English


From the Lilith Scroll

....and the new one came into existence after the last ray of the sun disappeared behind the Great Tree. The being existed as two wrapped in one body and was then separated.  One was female and called Lilith, meaning of the night. The second was male and called Samael, meaning God has heard.  Born of the same being, forever entwined, their souls joined in their very creation.
A great cry was heard and all turned to see the new Creator, known to the Thrones as Elohim. He took the little Lilith not yet ready to be separated from her Samael, and ran away through the Great Tree to a secret place leaving the one named Samael behind.  Split apart from his Lilith, the Samael cried and cast out his magic to chase her and brand her with his mark.
All the Watchers stood transfixed as they stared at the spot where Samael cried before the Great Tree.  And so the Fall began.  Sides were chosen and families divided. The hosts of Heaven readied themselves for war as they began to search the realms for the rogue Creator and Lilith. 
No place was safe for Elohim now.  Creation of a new realm was his only option. But he was young and inexperienced and his creations had all had problems

Scroll 1 folio 1

The book

A huge thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last few years as I have thought about what to write and the scholarly work I am researching.  After a lot of long nights filled with frustration, I decided to take all the research I have been doing over the past 15 years and write a fiction novel.

This allows me the freedom to write, mesh facts and frankly make up the ending I want.

The Lilith Scroll is a fictional scroll- as of now. (winks)  There are 100's of scrolls like this. Many were found at Qumran and Nag Hammadi.  This book is written about a scroll describing the life and abduction of Lilith.

In our known texts, Lilith was Adam's first wife, expelled from Garden of Eden and the mother of demon spirits who haunt children in their beds at night.  As we know, he who writes history writes it from their perspective, what we have may or may not be the actual facts.

Enjoy reading the Lilith Scroll.  Please like the Facebook page "The Lilith Scroll" for updates.

Excerpts will posted soon from various chapters.

Happy Scrolling